I made a new friend this week. A mutual friend of ours from out of town introduced us. Now, making a new friend outside of my usual social circle is extraordinary in itself!!!
I made a promise to myself recently that I will be open to meeting new people with no expectations. So, I was very happy that we got along great on an intellectual level.
The third time we met, he made me an amazing salad for lunch. Fennel and avocados are my favorites. We had a great time chatting about all sorts of topics and he was nice enough to help me set up my new blog. I had a great afternoon. I said goodbye and gave him a quick friendly hug on my way out. Now, I can read a man’s body language and I knew he wanted a better hug!!
Sure enough, as we texted later on, he was direct and asked me if I was in the market for a lover!!! Now, I totally appreciate the direct approach..it is quite refreshing. I countered with my direct answer: “No, thank you! I am looking for more than a lover. I want a boyfriend!”
Don’t get me wrong.. There is nothing wrong with having a lover. Being the new me, living by my own rules, I had already tried that. As a result, I know for sure that having a lover is not right for me at this time. I am looking for a deeper connection, emotional, physical and intellectual. I want a man to treat me as a priority.. A girlfriend!! Not a hook up, not just sex, not friends with benefits!! I want more! Is that too much to ask for nowadays??? It seems like it is.
Being an attractive young looking woman over forty, I get lots of male attention. But it’s all shallow attention..
Hey, wanna be my lover?
You’re beautiful and smart, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.
Wanna have safe fun?
I’m looking for something casual.
You are really cool, but I’m emotionally unavailable..
I could go on and on. Bottom line, it is very difficult nowadays to find a man around my age that has his shit together, that is somewhat attractive, who happens to be looking for what I am looking for and is not going after women in their twenties… Add to this list, oh..and we must have mutual chemistry!
I am not looking for Mr. Extraordinary here. I am simply looking for a kind and honest man that I am attracted to that can potentially be my partner ( boyfriend..whatever you want to call it). I know it exists. I am also realistic enough to know that the odds are not in my favor. At this point, I don’t care. I know what I’m looking for.
I know I am not extraordinary right now, but I’m on my way! I learned a hard lesson. I gave up my extraordinary self years ago so that my now-ex husband and children can be extraordinary! I just recently told a newly married younger friend of mine to never sacrifice who she is for a husband or children! I wish I had listened to this advice.
I am unique and special. I am on my way to an extraordinary life with or without Mr. Extraordinary!