When Netflix and Chill goes wrong

“But darling, I do not think you are in love with him…and maybe you’re a little bit too lonely to know the difference”

It all started out like safe fun.  A mutual attraction, a connection, intense chemistry, laughter and dancing.  Then, you became my happy place, my escape from my problems, my pain and my loneliness. You became the perfect remedy to my recent heartbreak…and then I looked forward to being with you, I needed you, I loved you and craved you more than I planned.

I was so happy being in the moment with you that I didn’t care about the future. I didn’t care that we were in different places in our lives and wanted different things. For once in my life, I just wanted to be in the moment, happy at last…regardless of all these obstacles and an impossible future. After all, the future may never come. True love may not find me, I’m not even sure if it exists. Maybe that is all there is.. Precious moments!

And then it all came crashing down.  You saw through me. You saw that you have become more than a friend with benefits. You never wanted to hurt me.. Safe fun was the rule!  Naturally, we have the talk… Yes, of course we can go back to being just friends. Yes, I know you don’t want to hurt me because you care about me. I can do this, I thought. But it hurts and that intense loneliness is back. The mutual attraction is still there, but you are resisting it and now I feel invisible to you.

So to satisfy your curiosity, did this experience mend my initial broken heart?? No, it didn’t.. It was a really beautiful temporary distraction but now I find myself with two broken hearts. Is that even possible??

I guess I’m just not a good candidate for Netflix and Chill.

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